well that was disappointing...

I started my period today at church. I went home, put in a tampon, and cried.

Back to my original plan. Hopefully.

a week....

A week is too long to wait for blood results! I am really anxious about it now and I think I have failed at "not getting my hopes up." I kinda of hope I am now and going to the doctor made me think even more that I might be! Ugh this is going to be the longest week EVER!

In the meantime- here is a sweet message about parenting that was posted on facebook today by mormon.org. =)



and another about motherhood:

it's really easy to tell- is your nipples real brown?

Ok, so here is a little update on something that has been plaguing my mind lately. I have skipped not just one, but TWO periods now. That is a bit weird for me. I have had been late in the past, but never more than like a week- maybe two at the very very most.

Oh yeah, and Nathan and I did decide to randomly "try" towards the end of November/ beginning of December, so at first I was a little excited when my monthly visitor didn't show. But then excitement faded when 3 different pregnancy tests came up like this:



I figured I was probably just late due to stress, so I didn't worry too much until 2 weeks later and still no period.... so to make a long story short I have taken a pregnancy test every week on Thursday for the past 6 weeks and every single one has come up negative!

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have negative pregnancy tests but no period? I feel like my uterus is messing with me- it has done this in the past... usually if I am close to a week late and I buy a pregnancy test- Aunt Flow shows up the day after I pee on the stick. Not this time though.

So anyway- our new insurance cards came in the mail this weekend, so today I scheduled a doctor's appointment. I was lucky enough to talk to my doctor (well, Physicians Assistant, Julie!) on the phone, the conversation went something like this:

Julie: So what are you coming in for?

Me: I've missed 2 periods so far.

Julie: Oh, is there any possibility you could be pregnant?

Me: See, that's the thing- I have taken a pregnancy test every week and they have all come up negative.

Julie: Well, are you on the pill?

Me: No, I haven't been on any birth control for about six months now.

Julie: Oh! Well then you could be! We will do a blood test when you come in!

So...I am having a blood test on Thursday. I am anxious- but happy. I just want to know if I am or not, and if I am not I want to know if they can like, kick start my cycle because I am going to want to start trying for really reals in about 4 or 5 months. Having an actual cycle would be helpful in that process.

In the meantime my mind is constantly wandering back to the thought of "what if I am?!" I have heard of this happening- where the pee sticks all come out negative but a blood test confirms a pregnancy. My sister claims that it happened to her sister in law... It's all so crazy!!

If I am I think I will be pretty shocked- I haven't really experienced any of the typical pregnancy symptoms- but I guess I can't complain too much about NOT throwing up...

You know that First Response commercial where the lady says something like- when you think you might be pregnant, everyday can seem like a lifetime? THAT is sooooo true. Thursday and my blood test results couldn't possibly come fast enough!!

....I will keep you posted.

Oh, and one more side note before I go- I think it's a little funny how excited people get when they hear you MIGHT be pregnant. My doctor sounded kind of excited, the lady behind the counter when I was buying my pregnancy tests was all excited, and of course- my BFF, Kassi, was super stoked too! BABIES MAKE PEOPLE EXCITED! I am trying not to get too excited though- just in case.