update!

Yeah, I know, I'm still a terrible blogger.

So here is what is going on with new baby. Everything is still going well; my "sickness" is under control as long as I take my super expensive medication. The baby is growing right on track with a strong heart beat. I'm "showing" now- which makes all my clothes fit kind of awkwardly. It's also throwing off my body's natural balance- making my back sore when I sit/stand/lay a certain way.

We had our anatomy ultra sound and found out that we are most likely going to have a girl. The doctor is 80% sure- so he will check again at my next appointment. Not gonna lie, I totally fought back tears through the rest of the appointment after he told us it was girl. I really had my heart set on having another a boy. Shopping for a girl will be kinda fun though.

More later.

quick update

Xander is napping, but who knows for how long, so I have to make this quick.

My last doctor's appointment was like the shortest ever. My appointment was at 9am and I was out of there with my next appointment set by 9:04.

Everything looked good. My blood work all looked good. I was starting to gain weight, rather than lose which is good. The baby's heart rate was good. And that was that.

Next appointment is the big reveal- will Lunt baby #2 be a boy or a girl? I am crossing my fingers and hoping for a boy, but I have a feeling that it's going to be a girl.

I learned today that even though I am 16 weeks along, I still need anti-nausea medication or I will start my morning hugging the toilet and feel nauseated all day long. Bummer- because that stuff is expensive! I wish Zofran worked for me this time round, it's like a 1/5 of the price of this new stuff. But I will happily pay not to puke!

I am starting to look kinda pregnant- but mostly just fat. My first pregnancy left me with a lose, flabby tummy- so even though my belly has popped, it's kinda droopy and looks more like a beer gut than baby bump. Which makes me kinda sad.... I wanted a cute bump again and I just don't think that will happen. I think I will just go from the awkward, "Is she pregnant or just fat?" stage to "Daaaaaaaaaaaaang! Is that twins?!" stage.

So, that's all for now- until we get the big news on July 9th. At least I've got Xander's first birthday to keep me busy until the end of the week!

two months later...

As usual, I didn't get around to posting as soon or as often as I thought I might. I have drafted dozen of blogs in mind since I last posted, but never got around to actually writing any of them down. So I will try to condense everything that has gone on in the last couple months into one entry.

I guess I will start where I left off. I had my appointment with Dr. Tutt to confirm the pregnancy, and sure enough there was a growing in there- and I got to see the little heart beat on the ultra sound screen. Turns out that I was quite as far along as I thought. The day I took the at-home test had to be the absolute earliest day that I could have gotten a positive result because when I went to see the doctor two weeks later I was just barely six weeks along- based on the measurements from the ultra sound. So, that was kind of disappointing.

I had been feeling optimistic about this pregnancy because I hadn't had any real sickness before my first appointment- well a couple days later it hit and it hit HARD. I was even more sick this time around than I was with Xander and Zofran was doing, pretty much, nothing. So I just dealt with non-stop nausea until my second appointment when my doctor gave me a sample of a new anti-nausea medicine- Diclegis. It works pretty well. It seems to working even better lately, but that may just be because I am at the point in my pregnancy where sickness tends to lessen. I'm too scared to try a day without it though!

This pregnancy has been way tougher for me- on like every level- than the first one. Emotionally, I am a wreck. A big part of that is probably because this pregnancy was such a surprise. I have mostly come to terms with it now, but every now and then I break down. I just don't feel ready! But this baby is coming- ready or not! I cry at dumb things- like songs on the radio, tv commercials, etc. I don't remember doing that a whole lot when I was pregnant with Xander. My patience level is like zero- most of time and I feel pretty irritable. It reminds a lot of how I was when I was taking the fertility medicine.

Physically- I lost about 10 lbs from being sick. Now that I am not puking all the time, I am starting to put a little weight back on. I'm hoping to start working out daily again- to keep my weight under control this time around. My goal is to only gain 15-20 lbs through the entire pregnancy.

I think the hardest thing has been taking care of Xander while dealing with all the other stuff. It's super hard. I feel like I haven't been the best mom for him because I have been feeling so crummy and out of sorts. I'm doing my best, and I guess that's all I can do- but I just wish I could do better- be better- for him. He is constantly on the move and into everything, and that takes it's toll on a tired, pregnant mama. My favorite time of day is just before bed time, when I sit and hold him and read a story and sing him a song before bed. It's a nice peaceful time for both of us.

I am just entering my second trimester this week- and like I said, I am starting to feel better. I am regaining a little bit of energy and a lot more of an appetite. I am going to do my very best to live it up and enjoy the second trimester- because I know it's the easiest part! I plan on doing lots of fun things with Xander and Nathan- including Xander's first birthday which is coming up in just a couple weeks!

I am also really looking forward to my gender ultra sound in July! I think that is when my excitement level will really kick in- when I can start picking out names and clothes and planning a nursery and all that.

I am going to try and post again after my next doctor's appointment, next week.

ok, well, this is happening....

I seriously did not think that I would be writing in this blog anytime soon. My initial plan of keeping it up to date with what it was like raising a baby kinda went down the toilet when actually raising the baby started taking up all my time. So, I figured this blog would probably just sit here until like January 2015 when we would start "trying" again. 

Well,  I guess it shouldn't be a big surprise-- it seems that nothing goes as planned in my life! So anyway- here is the story...

My cycle has been all kinds of weird since Xander was born. With my infertility issues, this didn't come as big surprise to me. My period seemed to be coming every 4-6ish weeks- not super erratic, but not consistant either. Still- to keep my mind at ease, I would usually take a pregnancy test after 5 weeks just to be sure. So about a week ago, I decided to take the "peace of mind" test since it had been a little over 6 weeks. I assumed it would be negative and I could expect my period in a few days and then I could call up Dr. Tutt and ask him to put me back on the Nuva Ring- since I am winding down on the nursing and I can't remember to take oral birth control. Easy Peasy. So I took the test, and just the control line showed up- so I sat it on the counter and climbed back into bed with Xander and Nathan. 

Nathan went to get in the shower like 10 minutes later, and I said- half jokingly- "Hey, can you take a look at that test and make sure I'm not pregnant?" 

He looked at it, and said- "I don't know how to read these things...." 

"Well, is there one line or two?"

"I don't know, I think two?"

"What?! Bring it to me."

So he brings me the test, and sure enough there are two pink lines. My jaw just dropped and I just stared at Nathan for a second. "That means I'm pregnant!"

Only moments later I burst into tears, much like I did when I found out I was pregnant the first time. However, this time they were not tears of joy. I'm not sure what emotion I would tie them to.... shock?...terror?...disappointment?

In a blink of an eye, my plans for the entire year had been flushed down the toilet. The Disneyland trip that I have been anticipating for the last 5 years and was so, so super excited for would have to be canceled. The personal training that I have committed to through October isn't going to be nearly as effective- and most of the progress I've made in my weight loss might soon be reversed. I will probably look like a freaking whale for my high school reunion this fall. Not looking forward to being pregnant on the handful of road trips we had planned...

I know, all that sounds  really petty. And in all honesty, I feel super guilty for not leaping for joy and being over the moon excited. Like- reeeeeally guilty. I am just having a really hard time accepting the fact that everything I've been looking forward to this year is going away. It's disappointing and that makes me feel terrible.

Oh, and in case you've forgotten- Xander is only 9 months old- and now, in 9 more months- I am going to be doing this whole baby thing all over while juggling a 17 month old toddler. I am really scared and completely over-whelmed. I was not planning this at all and I am having a really hard time coping.

Nathan thinks that my feelings will change after I see the heartbeat at the doctor next week, and everything is confirmed. I hope so. I would really like to get excited about this- maybe once we start telling people, and they get excited, it will rub off on me.

I do feel blessed that our family is growing- and even more blessed that I didn't have to take that wrechted Clomid to do it. That is a huge blessing! My heart does swell a bit when I think of becoming a family of 4- I definitely wanted a second child- I just wasn't expecting him or her so soon! I am so, so blessed- just overwhelmed at the moment. It's been a week and I still freak out every time I think about it.

Anyway, my appointment with Dr. Tutt is in 8 days. I will let you know more after that.