two months later...

As usual, I didn't get around to posting as soon or as often as I thought I might. I have drafted dozen of blogs in mind since I last posted, but never got around to actually writing any of them down. So I will try to condense everything that has gone on in the last couple months into one entry.

I guess I will start where I left off. I had my appointment with Dr. Tutt to confirm the pregnancy, and sure enough there was a growing in there- and I got to see the little heart beat on the ultra sound screen. Turns out that I was quite as far along as I thought. The day I took the at-home test had to be the absolute earliest day that I could have gotten a positive result because when I went to see the doctor two weeks later I was just barely six weeks along- based on the measurements from the ultra sound. So, that was kind of disappointing.

I had been feeling optimistic about this pregnancy because I hadn't had any real sickness before my first appointment- well a couple days later it hit and it hit HARD. I was even more sick this time around than I was with Xander and Zofran was doing, pretty much, nothing. So I just dealt with non-stop nausea until my second appointment when my doctor gave me a sample of a new anti-nausea medicine- Diclegis. It works pretty well. It seems to working even better lately, but that may just be because I am at the point in my pregnancy where sickness tends to lessen. I'm too scared to try a day without it though!

This pregnancy has been way tougher for me- on like every level- than the first one. Emotionally, I am a wreck. A big part of that is probably because this pregnancy was such a surprise. I have mostly come to terms with it now, but every now and then I break down. I just don't feel ready! But this baby is coming- ready or not! I cry at dumb things- like songs on the radio, tv commercials, etc. I don't remember doing that a whole lot when I was pregnant with Xander. My patience level is like zero- most of time and I feel pretty irritable. It reminds a lot of how I was when I was taking the fertility medicine.

Physically- I lost about 10 lbs from being sick. Now that I am not puking all the time, I am starting to put a little weight back on. I'm hoping to start working out daily again- to keep my weight under control this time around. My goal is to only gain 15-20 lbs through the entire pregnancy.

I think the hardest thing has been taking care of Xander while dealing with all the other stuff. It's super hard. I feel like I haven't been the best mom for him because I have been feeling so crummy and out of sorts. I'm doing my best, and I guess that's all I can do- but I just wish I could do better- be better- for him. He is constantly on the move and into everything, and that takes it's toll on a tired, pregnant mama. My favorite time of day is just before bed time, when I sit and hold him and read a story and sing him a song before bed. It's a nice peaceful time for both of us.

I am just entering my second trimester this week- and like I said, I am starting to feel better. I am regaining a little bit of energy and a lot more of an appetite. I am going to do my very best to live it up and enjoy the second trimester- because I know it's the easiest part! I plan on doing lots of fun things with Xander and Nathan- including Xander's first birthday which is coming up in just a couple weeks!

I am also really looking forward to my gender ultra sound in July! I think that is when my excitement level will really kick in- when I can start picking out names and clothes and planning a nursery and all that.

I am going to try and post again after my next doctor's appointment, next week.