post-pregnancy life

I haven't posted at all since Xander has been born, so obviously a lot has happened- on a lot of different levels. Here I am, two weeks after delivery, and I am happy to report that I feel fantastic. As I was laying on my tummy yesterday, for the first time in like 8 months, I felt so good and so comfortable and so happy- it was just re-affirmed in my mind that pregnancy is terrible. Life is so much better NOT pregnant. I understand that it's necessary and that it's a miracle-- but as much as it sucked, I am glad that I was able to experience it, and there are no words to even explain how grateful I am that it brought my precious little guy into my life- but I do not miss it at all!! I thought I might miss feeling the baby kicks- but having the actual baby and watching him kick and squirm outside the womb is like a gazillion times better. It was all worth it, but I am in no hurry to do it again.

So let me break down my post-pregnancy experience the best I can for you.

Emotionally- I truly expected to be an absolute emotional wreck after I delivered Xander- but I really haven't been. Yes, I can definitely tell that my hormones are going crazy, and I have felt like crying once or twice for no reason- but it hasn't been too bad. The past couple days I have noticed that I am a bit irritable, but that could be from the lack of sleep more than hormones. Besides the few days when Dave was missing and I was worried sick, I have been pretty darn happy. I love, love, love, love seeing Nathan's interactions with Xander. He is such a great daddy and you can just see him glowing with pride- he is head over heels in love with our little boy. I remember seeing a little quote on pinterest that said:

It is so, so true. My heart was so full of love for Nathan during the pregnancy, but I swear once I saw him with Xander, my heart could have exploded from love overload- for both of them! They both just make me happier than I have ever known. 

Mentally- My mental state isn't what it used to be- but that's most likely because I am only getting 2 hour chunks of sleep at a time. Days kinda all blend together and sometimes it takes a while for my brain to process things. Also, it's amazing how once Xander was born my brain just transitioned into being a mommy. He always comes first now- it's his needs above my own without even thinking about it. I don't even worry about the fact that I am not getting much sleep, because when I am waking up it's for his good and taking care of his needs; making sure he's eating enough, changing diapers, getting him back to sleep. And I always thought people were crazy when they told me all the gross stuff will be "different when it's your own-" but it's unbelievably true. I am not bothered at all by Xander's poopy diapers, or when he spits up all over the front of me, or spray sneezes me with a mouthful of milk. In fact, just as I finished typing this, I had to take a diaper changing break and as I was wiping him- poop shot out all over me and the changing table. I did not gag or freak out, I just cleaned him up and got a new diaper on him, and proceeded to clean the changing table and strip down everything with poop on it and put it in the washing machine. My entire world shifted gears when he was born-- and though it's very different it's great!

Physically- By the end of the day I am completely drained- but other than being tired I am really feeling quite excellent. The 3-5 days after delivery were the hardest- sore from stitches and hemorrhoids,  constipated, and a kidney infection on top of everything else. Really once the constipation passed I felt pretty great. I have a tiny bit of discomfort every now and then that usually passes pretty quickly- but in general this is the best that I have felt in long time! I can brush my teeth and walk around first thing in the morning without any fear of nausea or vomiting! I can roll over in bed and sit up and bend down without assistance! My feet aren't huge and swollen! I actually want to get up and do things- I don't feel like I need to be sitting or laying down all the time. Also, a little more than a week after Xander was born I was down 30+lbs! My post pregnancy tummy is pretty flabby and discouraging at this point (and hard to dress,) but weight-wise, I am pretty happy with the progress so far. I didn't realize how much belly I would still have after I delivered- check out these after baby-belly pics:

The day before I delivered:

2 days after delivery (Please excuse how terrible I look in this picture:)

5 days after delivery:

 13 days after delivery:

Craziness, right? All of those pictures were taken within 2 weeks! I am going to try and start taking some walks early in the morning, or maybe around the mall or something during the day (since it's so hot out-) and once I have my post-partum check up I will start working out again and try to tighten things back up as best I can.

Spiritually- I feel so incredibly blessed. It's hard for me to even find the words to express it. I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to raise this precious little child of God. I am eternally grateful that the three of us are forever sealed together as a family.  Having a child of my own, and feeling the intense parental love that I have has also strengthened my testimony of how much our Heavenly Father loves all of us. The Plan of Happiness is an amazing thing.

So that's what's been going on with "the momma" since the baby has been born. I know most people are much more interested in the baby now, and that's fine- but I get asked a lot how I am doing, so I thought I would post and let you all know!