Well I am officially NOT pregnant, once again. I am laying in bed writing this on my iPhone- absolutely devastated. Ever since I got my period yesterday I have been crying randomly and experiencing a whole roller coaster of emotions. I just don't understand… I don't understand why my body won't do what it was designed to do. I don't understand why I can't experience like the main thing we were put on this earth experience. And I am angry. I am angry at my body for betraying me. I am angry that I am surrounded by reminders everywhere of what I want so desperately and can't have. I am heart broken....like literally- I can feel my heart ripping in half inside my chest. All I want to do is curl up in bed for like ever! I don't want to be around people, I don't want to do anything-- I feel helpless and hopeless.
Nathan was talking to a friend at work who also is experiencing fertility issues and they gave us a reference to a fertility doctor that for sure take our insurance- so I guess that's going to be our next step. Well that is if Dr. Tutt won't refill my Clomid without an appointment.
I guess I should try to sleep. More later.
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