Yesterday, November 1st at 6:15 p.m. I had my first pregnancy puke. It was awful! I had been feeling nauseated all day long and had started randomly crying like 3 times throughout the day. And the thing that is frustrating about the crying is that I knew in my head that it was stupid for me to be crying but I couldn't stop! The tears and the sobs just kept coming. This is ultimately what lead to my first throw up experience. The sobs shook my insides just enough to make me puke up the apple sauce and couple pieces of Halloween candy that I had eaten only about an hour before. It was the worst! It got in my hair- and that only made me cry more!
I was nauseated all night and still am this morning. I know I probably have more "morning sickness" in my future and I am not looking forward to that at all. I have said it a million times- I would rather be stuck on the toilet all night with diarrhea than to be throwing up. I haaaaaaaate it! I feel so miserable- and feel extremely guilty about feeling so miserable. I have finally had the blessing of pregnancy bestowed upon me and the past couple days the misery has been over-shadowing the joy. I am incredibly grateful to be able to bear a child of my own, but I didn't realize how much it takes out of you. Obviously I was aware of symptoms, but actually experiencing those symptoms is whole other experience. I literally felt like the walking dead yesterday. My stomach was so unsettled, all I wanted to do all day was lie down so my stomach didn't get jostled. I am soooooo tired- like always. Even after I wake up- still tired! My boobs are still pretty sore. I feel like I have to wear some sort of bra 24/7 because as soon as I take a bra off it feels like I did something to make gravity really angry and they feel super sore and heavy. I can smell EVERYTHING- which can be good but now that the pukies have shown up, probably not so good.
I wanted to make dinner last night but the only thing that sounded good to me graham crackers and ginger ale- which Nathan so lovingly went and got for me. I feel like a bad wife because I can't even think about making my husband food without feeling like I am going to barf everywhere. I have like no energy or motivation to do chores. I just want to curl up in a ball under my blankey...which by the way is only comfortable for about an hour and then I wake up dying because I feel so hot!
The more of these not-so-fun symptoms I experience, the longer 9 months seems.....
Yesterday was the first day that I kinda wished we had told some people- I really needed a shoulder a cry on- preferably a shoulder attached to a person who has experienced this all before. Oh well- people will find out soon enough. We are thinking of telling the families at Thanksgiving now, as long as all our ultra sounds are looking good and healthy.
Well I am going to go sip my ginger ale and lay down....and let's be honest- probably cry.
I'll write again when I have something to share, other than whining.
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