xander's birth story

Ok, it's finally done. After almost 2 months I am finally posting the birth story! I actually have been writing it in pieces since around the 4th of July- so you will have to forgive me if it is a bit choppy or doesn't flow quite right. I probably never would have gotten it done if it weren't for the iPad mini we bought a couple weeks ago. Xander hates the sound of the computer keyboard and always seems to know when I sit down at the computer to blog and suddenly gets hungry or poopy or just wants to be held. Thanks to the iPad I have been able to put the finishing touches on the story while he is sleeping on my chest. It's a wonderful thing! So without further ado, here is the story of how baby Xander came into our lives:

Tuesday, June 18th- 4:00 a.m.- I woke up with a terrible, terrible headache. I couldn't find Tylenol anywhere in the house, so I put some clothes on and drove over to Walgreen's to get some. Unfortunately, the Tylenol wasn't doing much, so I took my blood pressure to see if that is what was causing it, and of course, it was high. My discharge instructions from the last time I was at the hospital told me that if I had a headache that didn't go away with Tylenol to call my doctor. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 4:30 that day, but I felt so weird that I called anyway- around 10:00 a.m. Whoever answered the phone let me know that since it was Tuesday, Dr. Tutt and his nurse, Brooke, wouldn't be in the office until 2:00 p.m. So, I left a message. It almost seemed pointless, since my appointment was only a couple hours after that, but around 2:45 I got a call from Brooke telling me that Dr. Tutt wanted me to skip my appointment and head over to L&D triage to be monitored ASAP.

So, I called Nathan and let him know what was going on. He got off work at 3:00 anyway, so that wasn't a big deal. When he got home, we loaded the hospital bag and pillows and such into the car-- just in case. We got to the hospital not long after 4:00- signed all the forms and stuff and they got into a triage room. After leaving a urine sample, they got me all hooked up to the monitors and took some blood. We hung out there for about an hour and a half to two hours while they ran the labs and kept an eye on me and the baby-- and then gave me discharge instructions and sent me home. I was pretty disappointed because I was hoping at my would-have-been appointment that they would check my cervix, and do an ultrasound to check on my aging placenta, and give me some sort of idea when I might be having this baby- and they didn't do any of those things at the hospital.

On the drive home I started having contractions that were a bit uncomfortable compared to braxton hix I had been having for the past few weeks- but they weren't lasting too long and weren't very close together. Nathan decided to swing into Taco Bell to grab something quick for dinner. While we were waiting in the drive-thru, I said to Nathan "I am pretty sure that I am in early labor right now and I am going to have the baby in the next day or so." I don't remember what he said exactly but he basically told me I wasn't in labor and that I was crazy and then I think I snapped at him and said something along the lines of "Don't tell me what my body is feeling!"

So, we went home and went about our business. Nathan started working on an order from Color Me Mine in the garage and I relaxed and watched a bit of tv, until I started feeling restless and decided to do some running around. I went over to my parents house and picked up a couple things that we had left there. My mom noticed the pillows and stuff in the car and I told her we bring them to every appointment now, just in case, and I just hadn't gotten around to taking it out yet. Then I headed over to Walmart to do some grocery shopping, because I figured Nathan was probably right and I wouldn't be going into labor anytime soon and I needed to get some stuff for lunches. For some reason, it didn't cross my mind that I was having real contractions while I was walking down the frozen food aisles- even though I had to stop walking until they were over. So, I went home and put the groceries away, and got ready for bed like I would normally. We snuggled into bed around 9:00 and put Frasier on Netflix. Nathan fell asleep pretty quick, like he usually does and I tried dozing off but I kept having this pain in my back/bottom with contractions that kept waking me up. Around 10:00 p.m. it dawned on me that I should probably start timing these things. So I got my phone out and pulled up my Sprout pregnancy app that has a contraction timer on it.

I watched Frasier and timed contractions for about an hour and half. They were consistently a minute or more long and between 3-6 minutes apart. I sat for a while and debated whether or not I should wake Nathan up yet. I knew the contractions were close enough together that I needed to at least go in to be checked (according to my discharge instructions from the hospital earlier that day.) I gave it another half hour, and I could tell the contractions were getting stronger and stronger, so I quietly woke Nathan up around midnight and said "I think we need to go to the hospital." I told him how long and how far apart my contractions were and how long I had been timing them. I also told him that I knew I was probably nowhere near close to delivering the baby so we didn't have to rush. I sat on the edge of the bed and Nathan rubbed my back a bit while we finished watching the episode of Frasier that was on the tv- while Nathan woke up a bit more. Then we got dressed and loaded up the car and headed to the hospital. I remember thinking on the drive how crazy this all was. I was in labor. This whole pregnancy thing was actually about to result in an infant after all, and holy smokes were my contractions starting to hurt!

We got to the hospital a little bit before 1:00 a.m.- early, early Thursday morning. We had to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes because there were a couple of people who came in just before us. We went through the whole process of signing the paperwork in the registration office and getting the wristbands and all that and they finally stuck us in triage room #3.

 You will have to forgive me, as the timeline and sequence of events gets a little blurry for me here- as I was in quite a bit of pain as my contractions got stronger and stronger. I remember changing into the hospital gown, and leaving another urine sample. They put the monitoring straps around my belly to measure the baby's heart rate and my contractions- which meant I was basically supposed to stay in one position in bed- every time I would roll over or something, they had to come in and re-adjust the monitor. This was incredibly frustrating to me because my body was telling me that I should be up moving around and swaying my hips or something to help with the pain of the contractions.A nurse came in to check my cervix- and with the pain I was feeling I thought I had to be pretty close to like 3 centimeters....Nope! 1 lousy centimeter! They told me they would keep me there for at least an hour to how I progress. At some point, another nurse came in and did an ultra sound to see if the baby was even in a good position for delivery. I don't think they ever really told me for sure if he was or not, but I do remember seeing his little face on the screen and smiling and feeling so happy....you know, in between the terrible, awful pain of the contractions. I remember feeling like I had to pee a lot- I think I went like 3-4 times in about hour- hour and a half.

One of the nurses came in a one point and told me that if I didn't progress they would find out what pain medication they could send me home with- and I remember thinking there was no way I could go home and go through this. The pain was getting worse and worse with every contraction and  my "breathing through it" was getting louder and louder. I found out that I was having "back labor" and oh my goodness, it was awful. After what felt like a decade, they came in to check me again and I was at 2 centimeters. Though I was happy I was progressing, I felt really sad and worried too, because I know they usually won't admit you until you are at like a 3 or 4. So, they called the doctor that was on call from my practice and a little while later an angel nurse came in delivering the heavenly news- that I was going to have my baby today! Dr. Layton had given the ok to admit me.

They told me they were getting my room ready and I asked "How long after I get into the room can I have an epidural?" I expected that I might have to wait until I progressed another centimeter or so, but they said I could have it as soon as I got there! That was such great news! I was in so much pain and was so tired, I just wanted to be able to rest.

So we walked down the hall to what would be my room for the day. While we were walking the nurse told us that lots of ladies were going into labor that night, and that they were having to cancel all the inductions. I kinda felt bad for the ladies whose inductions were being postponed-- but then I got another contractions and I didn't feel so bad for them anymore. Nathan told me that once my epidural was done that he would go out to the car and get the bags. Luckily, it didn't take very long for the anesthesiologist to get there. Before going into labor, I thought that I might hesitate or be a little nervous when it came to getting the epidural-- and I admit the horrible complications that could happen did briefly cross my mind-- but in general I wasn't scared about it at all. I totally trusted the trained medical professionals that surrounded me and the common sense part of my brain told me- this procedure is performed literally thousands of times a day, most of which go off without a hitch; and that's exactly how it worked out for me.

Everything was fine- and the pain that accompanied my contractions decreased pretty quickly. I could still move my legs fairly well- but they felt all tingly like they were asleep. I could still sort of tell when I was having a contraction too- from the tightening, but they didn't hurt. It was glorious! And of course, then they put a catheter in, since I got the epidural. After that, my super nice night nurse (who reminded me of friend, Kassi's, mom) got me all settled into position with a birthing peanut between my legs- which was supposed help the baby to move down and help my dilated faster. I thought it would feel awkward, but it was actually super comfortable and I fell asleep extremely fast. You know what else was more comfortable than expected? The couch. Nathan also fell asleep extremely fast. Going into labor in the middle of the night can be pretty exhausting.After I fell asleep- the nurse came in and had me roll to other side and helped me re-position everything about every hour or so, but it really didn't disturb me much; I was able to fall asleep again fairly quickly.

Me, at some point after the epidural

I think around 9ish my OB, Dr. Tutt, popped in and checked me. I hadn't progressed much- which was a bit disappointing. While he was there he also mentioned that he was a bit concerned about how high the baby still was- and that babies that are up that high sometimes don't like to come out on their own, implying that a c-section might be in my future. I did not like that news at all, but I just kept telling myself that whatever happens is meant to be, and I will be fine.

Again, the sequence of events and time table is a bit fuzzy for me because I was in and out of sleep all day. I am pretty sure that around the time Dr. Tutt came I was awake for about an hour and I chit chatted with Nathan and maybe watched some tv. I remember that the tv was on- but I can't remember anything I watched. I also think they started me on Pitocin around that time too- because my contractions had slowed down a bit.

After switching back and forth a couple times from laying on the left to laying on the right, I started feeling pain on my right side. I pushed my little epidural booster button and waited a little while, but it didn't really work- so I called the nurse to let her know. She told me they could give me a little more of a boost through the epidural, and I agreed. I felt relief fairly quickly but a few hours later the boost resulted in the weirdest sensation of my life. I could feel  nothing  from the bottom of my rib cage down. NOTHING!  I was absolutely and completely numb. I could not move my legs on my own anymore and honestly wasn't sure what position my legs were even in. The strangest thing was- even though I couldn't feel them-I still felt like my knees needed to be bent more to be comfortable- and since I couldn't move them myself, I had to ask Nathan and the nurse to bend my knees up more for me.

numb legs

One of the times that I woke-up, I suddenly had the need for Nathan to come over and sit with me and hold my hand. (Since I had been sleeping, he had been over on the couch watching tv and iFunny on his phone.) Of course, he did just what I asked. We talked for a bit about how crazy it was that we were going to be parents today and surreal it all felt- when all of a sudden a felt a small pop and then wetness down around my legs and my bum. I stopped talking- shocked momentarily- and looked at Nathan and said "My water just broke!" I called the nurse and she came in to check on everything. They were a bit worried because the baby had been sitting up do high, they though he might get tangled in the cord or that the rush of fluid may have made some of the cord come out- but luckily nothing went wrong, and my water breaking actually caused Xander's head to move right where it needed to be- ready to head down the birth canal!

The nurse explained to me that from here on out, the average woman usually progresses at about a centimeter per hour and that I was currently at about 4-1/2. Of course, she also told us that it is different for everyone- some women go faster, some it can take much longer. She also told me that first time moms often have almost an hour of pushing. So I looked at the clock (it was around 1) and figured with a slowly as I had progressed so far I probably wouldn't be having this kid until like 8:00 or later. I was ok with that, but also a little impatient because no one knew we were at the hospital and I was getting anxious to tell people. I kinda wanted to shout it from the rooftops that we were having this baby!

one of the last pictures taken of me pregnant!

The nurse helped me turn on to my side and adjust the peanut again, so I was all comfy. She told me she would come back in an hour or so to help me flip to try and help thing progress as quickly as possible- and I fell asleep again. Around 3:00 she came back and said she wanted to do a quick check before rolling me over to see if I had made any progress. I was still half way sleeping during this process but I do remember what she said next- "Well, you have no cervix left- the baby's head is right there!" And then Nathan asked  if that meant it was time and she said that we were ready have a baby.  Both Nathan and I were like- wow, that was fast!

She pulled the stirrups out from under the bed and got my legs all set up. It was weird because I was so numb. She told me we were going to do a couple practice pushes, since I couldn't really feel much below my chest. We waited for a contraction and then I just bared down and imagined where the baby needed to come out,and pushed as hard as I could. We did three, 10 count pushes- and the nurse said "That was very good! Don't do that again until the doctor gets here I am going to go call him now." 

Over the next 10-15 minutes nurses were in and out of the room, preparing it for delivery. I asked Nathan to turn on one of the relaxation channels on the tv; I chose one that showed a bunch of beach scenes. It was really nice and calming, and even showed some dogs playing in the waves which made me think of my pups at home, which was also comforting. Then there was this weird close up shot of a little white dog starring into that camera- it was an awkwardly long shot and it was kinda creeping me out! Anyway, Nathan and I had a good laugh about it while everything was going on around us. 

At about 3:20, Dr. Tutt came in and checked out the situation and confirmed once again that it was time. While he was putting the surgical gown on over his work clothes and getting all ready to deliver, I did another round or two of pushes with nurse. He was still getting in position when another contraction came and the nurse told me to push, he looked up and was like "Oh, wow- there's a head right there!"  I did my 3 pushes and the nurse told me how close I was and Nathan told me he could see the baby's head was out. Dr. Tutt said- "Let's do one more push right now just for the heck of it." So I did. There was a big gush of fluid and at 3:40 pm my baby was born!

It was crazy surreal. It was like- bam! Here's a baby. I remember Dr. Tutt holding up the baby and next thing I knew he was partially wrapped and laying on my chest. He wasn't really crying, which concerned me a little. He was making little grunts but not really crying. While I was holding him, one of the nurses was rubbing his legs and feet trying to get him to cry more- which he did eventually. Nathan took a few pictures and the nurse took him and got him all cleaned up and measured while they got me all stitched up and clean. I remember asking if he had hair and the nurse told us that "he has a lot of hair for a white boy." Which I thought was hilarious. He was a whopping 8 lbs 11oz and 22" long.

While they were giving Xander his first little sponge bath, I called my dad. The call started out something like this-

Me: Hey, what are you doing right now?

Dad: Working. What can I do for you?

Me: Oh nothing, I just had a baby.

Dad: What!? No way!

Me: Yeah, like 10 minutes ago.

Dad: No way!!

He totally didn't believe me. Then Nathan shot him a text with a picture of Xander laying spread eagle in the bassinet thing where they cleaned him up. Naturally my dad was super excited we had, had the baby and even more excited that he had proof it really was a boy. He even shouted to someone across the office that he was grandpa again. It was cute. I told him the short version of the story and then he asked if I had told my mom yet. I told him, no, that he was the first to know. He asked that I didn't tell her- he wanted to tell her and then they would come to the hospital together. (He told her by showing her the picture message of the baby- and she was like "Who is that?" Haha! He said something like- that's your grandson, Tarin had the baby!)

The picture Nathan sent my dad

Nathan called his mom and kinda got the same reaction. No one believed us at first when we called because we literally didn't tell a single person that we were at the hospital- and it all happened so fast that day that no one had any reason to believe that anything out of the ordinary was happening; after all, I wasn't due for another week! After Nathan called his mom, the news spread like wild fire on his side of the family. After that,Nathan sent out a birth announcement text to all the close friends and family and we started scheduling visitors for the evening. Everyone was so excited to meet him.

Then, we got a little time alone with the little guy and i got to nurse him for the first time. From the time he got here he his just been the greatest baby. He didn't cry hardly at all. He slept and ate well- and he made the cutest little baby noises. And of course, he was just as cute as could be! We are so blessed to have him in our family! We love him so, so much. I'm also so very grateful for such a quick and easy delivery. I know my experience isn't typical and I know many women have quite the opposite. I just feel  tremendously blessed and so proud to introduce everyone to our son! Welcome to the world Xander Paul Lunt!

post-pregnancy life

I haven't posted at all since Xander has been born, so obviously a lot has happened- on a lot of different levels. Here I am, two weeks after delivery, and I am happy to report that I feel fantastic. As I was laying on my tummy yesterday, for the first time in like 8 months, I felt so good and so comfortable and so happy- it was just re-affirmed in my mind that pregnancy is terrible. Life is so much better NOT pregnant. I understand that it's necessary and that it's a miracle-- but as much as it sucked, I am glad that I was able to experience it, and there are no words to even explain how grateful I am that it brought my precious little guy into my life- but I do not miss it at all!! I thought I might miss feeling the baby kicks- but having the actual baby and watching him kick and squirm outside the womb is like a gazillion times better. It was all worth it, but I am in no hurry to do it again.

So let me break down my post-pregnancy experience the best I can for you.

Emotionally- I truly expected to be an absolute emotional wreck after I delivered Xander- but I really haven't been. Yes, I can definitely tell that my hormones are going crazy, and I have felt like crying once or twice for no reason- but it hasn't been too bad. The past couple days I have noticed that I am a bit irritable, but that could be from the lack of sleep more than hormones. Besides the few days when Dave was missing and I was worried sick, I have been pretty darn happy. I love, love, love, love seeing Nathan's interactions with Xander. He is such a great daddy and you can just see him glowing with pride- he is head over heels in love with our little boy. I remember seeing a little quote on pinterest that said:

It is so, so true. My heart was so full of love for Nathan during the pregnancy, but I swear once I saw him with Xander, my heart could have exploded from love overload- for both of them! They both just make me happier than I have ever known. 

Mentally- My mental state isn't what it used to be- but that's most likely because I am only getting 2 hour chunks of sleep at a time. Days kinda all blend together and sometimes it takes a while for my brain to process things. Also, it's amazing how once Xander was born my brain just transitioned into being a mommy. He always comes first now- it's his needs above my own without even thinking about it. I don't even worry about the fact that I am not getting much sleep, because when I am waking up it's for his good and taking care of his needs; making sure he's eating enough, changing diapers, getting him back to sleep. And I always thought people were crazy when they told me all the gross stuff will be "different when it's your own-" but it's unbelievably true. I am not bothered at all by Xander's poopy diapers, or when he spits up all over the front of me, or spray sneezes me with a mouthful of milk. In fact, just as I finished typing this, I had to take a diaper changing break and as I was wiping him- poop shot out all over me and the changing table. I did not gag or freak out, I just cleaned him up and got a new diaper on him, and proceeded to clean the changing table and strip down everything with poop on it and put it in the washing machine. My entire world shifted gears when he was born-- and though it's very different it's great!

Physically- By the end of the day I am completely drained- but other than being tired I am really feeling quite excellent. The 3-5 days after delivery were the hardest- sore from stitches and hemorrhoids,  constipated, and a kidney infection on top of everything else. Really once the constipation passed I felt pretty great. I have a tiny bit of discomfort every now and then that usually passes pretty quickly- but in general this is the best that I have felt in long time! I can brush my teeth and walk around first thing in the morning without any fear of nausea or vomiting! I can roll over in bed and sit up and bend down without assistance! My feet aren't huge and swollen! I actually want to get up and do things- I don't feel like I need to be sitting or laying down all the time. Also, a little more than a week after Xander was born I was down 30+lbs! My post pregnancy tummy is pretty flabby and discouraging at this point (and hard to dress,) but weight-wise, I am pretty happy with the progress so far. I didn't realize how much belly I would still have after I delivered- check out these after baby-belly pics:

The day before I delivered:

2 days after delivery (Please excuse how terrible I look in this picture:)

5 days after delivery:

 13 days after delivery:

Craziness, right? All of those pictures were taken within 2 weeks! I am going to try and start taking some walks early in the morning, or maybe around the mall or something during the day (since it's so hot out-) and once I have my post-partum check up I will start working out again and try to tighten things back up as best I can.

Spiritually- I feel so incredibly blessed. It's hard for me to even find the words to express it. I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to raise this precious little child of God. I am eternally grateful that the three of us are forever sealed together as a family.  Having a child of my own, and feeling the intense parental love that I have has also strengthened my testimony of how much our Heavenly Father loves all of us. The Plan of Happiness is an amazing thing.

So that's what's been going on with "the momma" since the baby has been born. I know most people are much more interested in the baby now, and that's fine- but I get asked a lot how I am doing, so I thought I would post and let you all know!

my due date is 16 days away!

See, I told you I was a terrible blogger! I was like "I will post again later today or tomorrow morning with pictures of some the baby preparations that have been going on my latest belly picture!" ...now 5 DAYS LATER I am finally posting. Sheesh!

Ok, so here we go. We will start with baby stuff!

My mom finished Xander's rag quilt! I helped pick out the fabric. I think it turned out fabulous! I can't wait to take pictures of him with it. If you can't tell from the picture, it's a red, white, and blue nautical theme! So cute!

I was worried that I was going to go into labor and the car seat wouldn't be unpacked and put together, but thankfully my sister came over and helped get the travel system all set up. I love it even more out of the box! I think it's adorable AND I don't think I could have found a stroller that folds up more easily than this one does. This is obviously our first stroller, but I remember fighting with other strollers in my baby sitting days. Ours has one, easy to grab lever and it just folds right up! Perfect!

AND Now I can rest easy, knowing that if I go into labor we have a car seat to bring the baby home in.

While Jessica was over, she also helped to assemble the bouncy seat. We don't have batteries for it yet- but other than that, it's all ready to put a baby in! Cuteness!

A couple weeks ago I got bored on a Sunday and decided to put the swing together. I did all by myself! I am so proud! (I don't feel like I can do much with my giant belly these days.)  Just like the travel system, I am even more in love with the swing out of the box! I love the swaying motion, I love the sounds it makes, I love that I can plug it into the wall so we don't go through a gzillion batteries, I love that it has a timer on it...It's just perfect! I was so tempted to call people I know and ask them to bring their babies over to try out my awesome new swing.

Around the same time I put the swing together, I also put all the bedding on the crib- FINALLY! I have been waiting 3 YEARS to use this bedding. It's been killing me having to wait- but we didn't have the waterproof crib liners yet, so I couldn't do anything until we got them! I went on a giant Target shopping spree to get all my nursing bras and other postpartum stuff and picked up the crib liners while I was there. The very next day I set up the crib.

I did encounter a small problem while I was trying to get the bedding all situated. The crib is kinda close to the dresser, and I kept needing to squeeze between the two- and for some reason my pregnant brain kept forgetting that turning to the side no longer makes me skinnier. I was continually squishing and scraping my belly on the crib. 

We don't have a toy box or anything yet, so for now we are keeping all the stuffed animals on this adorable little safari themed bench that Nathan found on craigslist. 

So, the nursery is pretty much done- we are just waiting on a rocking chair! Once we have that I will post pictures of the nursery as a whole.

I found some pics on my phone that I never posted on here.

This is me in my maternity swimsuit:

And this is a picture of puffy preggo hippo feet/legs- and believe it or not, this is not even the worst my swelling has been!

And this is my view when I look down these days:

One thing that has been getting me down is everyone's comments on how huge I am.

 I think it's because I don't feel abnormally large for a pregnant person- maybe I just see something different when I look in the mirror than what the people around me see; maybe it's just because I am used to it.... I don't know. I am measuring bigger than normal for as far along as I am- it's just weird to me that so many people- most of which I don't even know- comment so freely on my size. I've even had people ask if I am having twins or triplets- I do my best to laugh it off, but in my head I'm like "Screw you."' I know that's not nice, I just don't think they are being very considerate making comments like that- in fact, I think it's pretty rude.

Anyway, here are so brand spanking new pictures of pregnant me. Please excuse my hair and my complete disregard for my appearance in general. I had only been awake for about an hour when I took these, and obviously hadn't gotten ready for the day yet. Also, try not to stare too much at swollen feet and cankles.

THIS is what I look like straight on:

 Then I turn to the side and it's like BAM! Preggo.

And here is a view from the other side! 

I did my best to look happy in the pictures, because in general I really am pretty happy most of the time, and I don't know if that really comes across in my blog and facebook posts. 

I am definitely feeling "ready" for this baby to come out though. They aren't lying when they say the last few weeks are the toughest. 

My doctor's appointment yesterday was pretty routine. My blood pressure looked good, the baby's heart rate was good, and I found out that I'm about a fingertip dilated but that the baby's head isn't really anywhere near where he needs to be for delivery. I have another appointment scheduled for next Tuesday, but my doctor is going to be out of town this weekend, so the way this pregnancy has been so far I am pretty sure that is when I am going to go into labor. HA!

Well, if I do, I'm ready. We are pre-registered at the hospital, the car seat is ready to go, and my hospital bag is all packed and sitting next to the door.

full term!

We've made it to full term! Hooray!

It's hard to believe that it has only been a week since I last blogged-- SO much stuff has happened I feel like I'm way behind, so let's see if I can get all caught up.

I mentioned in my last post that I had "bonus" doctor's appointment the next day. Well, I didn't think it was going to be any big deal. I assumed they were going to make me pee into a cup and probably run some labs and that was all- so I told Nathan not to worry about taking time off work and asked my mom to drive me to the doctor that morning. I figured it would be like a 10-15 minute thing and then we would be out the door and I could head over to my sister's house to swim!

So, Thursday morning my mom brought me a Jamba Juice and drive me over to my appointment. They took my blood pressure and it was high, then they took it again while I was laying down and it was fine. Then they check the baby's heart beat and it was all good. Then they had me pee in a cup to check for protein in my urine (which would be an indicator for preeclampsia.) THEN, to my surprise they had me undress from the waist down so they could do the strep B test- which I thought wasn't going to happen until Monday. That swabbing or whatever HURT! Holy Moses. Next, Dr. Tutt checked my cervix, which I am pretty sure I mentioned before is pretty uncomfortable. Cervix was all closed up like last time- so no signs that the baby would be coming out on his own any time soon. Then they did a measurement ultra sound- which was another thing I wasn't expecting to happen until Monday. This is when I found out I was carrying a giant monster baby!! At the exact 36 week marker, Xander was measuring at 6.5-7 lbs! The doc said that if I make it to my due date he could be a 10 lb baby! I did find out that he was head down though- which is good.

After all the baby measuring was done, Dr. Tutt checked out the placenta and I got the not so good news. Apparently, the placenta is aging/deteriorating faster than it should. It started detaching from the uterus a bit and has some calcification on it.This usually doesn't happen until around/after 40 weeks. So because of this news and because of my high blood pressure, I was sent over to the hospital- to labor and delivery triage to be monitored and to have labs run. (I learned that if I get the labs done at the doctor's office, it takes a day take to get the results back, but at the hospital it takes only about 20 minutes.)

So we drove a mile up the road to the hospital. I got all "pre-registered" and signed all the paper work- which I guess will help streamline things for the next time I go in. Then they put me in triage room #1 and asked for another urine sample. I just peed at the doctor! I did manage to squeeze a little out though- and it freakin' burned because of the strep test or whatever they did at the office. Next, I changed into a hospital gown and they strapped me all up to the bed so they could monitor the baby, and they put a blood pressure cuff on me to continuously monitor my blood pressure. Then they asked me a bunch questions, like family history, and if I would be willing to take blood in an emergency situation, and if we were planning to have the baby circumcised and all that. But my favorite question of all was "Can you feel those contractions you are having right now?" I was like "Uh, no." My mind was a little blown; how could I be having contractions and not know it?! Well, apparently I had been having contractions all along, I just wasn't really aware that, that is was they were. I thought they tightening I had been feeling in my belly was just the baby moving. So I watched the monitor and became more aware of what was happening in my body when a contraction was going on. It was kind of cool. They weren't worried about the contractions since I wasn't dilated at all- they did tell me to make sure that I drank plenty of water to stay hydrated to keep the contractions at bay though.

After being there for like a half hour- 45 minutes they got all my labs back and everything looked normal for me and for the baby. They told me to keep my Monday appointment with Dr. Tutt and I was sent on my way. From what I had learned about the placenta, I thought that maybe at my Monday appointment, Dr. Tutt might schedule an induction for the safety of the baby. So fast forward to Monday afternoon's appointment- my blood pressure was better, baby's heart rate is good, I had to give another urine sample- ya know, the usual. Then the ever dreaded cervical check; still not dilated- but it had softened a bit, so there was a little bit of progress there. They checked the placenta again on the ultra sound and it looked the same- not any better, not any worse- so they scheduled my next appointment for one week out. So, as of now, there is no scheduled induction or c-section planned. The only way this baby is coming before Monday is if he decides to do so on his own.

Now that I know what a contraction feels like, I am noticing them more and more. The nurse at the doctor said that I shouldn't worry about them too much until they start getting painful- I've only had 1 or 2 that were particularly uncomfortable.

So that's what has been happening on the medical side of my pregnancy. I will post again later today or tomorrow morning with pictures of some the baby preparations that have been going on my latest belly picture!

less than a month

Yep- it's right around the corner. It feels incredibly close now- but it's still hard to wrap my head around. In 30 days or less we are going to be parents- like to a tiny human. Craziness. I'm not freaking out or anything, it's just a strange concept to really grasp- if that makes any sense at all.

This past weekend we had the pleasure to go to 2 Memorial Day weekend BBQs. One on Saturday at my cousin Desiree's house and another on Monday at Marvin and Sarah's. BOTH involved a swimming pool- which was glorious. I wish I had a car everyday so I could go somewhere to swim. We were playing water volleyball on Monday, and when I got out of the pool to grab the ball I was like "Holy Cow! My belly feels so freaking heavy coming out of the water!"

Just when I think I can't get more uncomfortable- it happens. New aches and pains and discomforts arise almost daily. Sleeping is even harder than before. Last night I started in a normal position on the bed, then turned with my head at the foot of the bed, then dogs woke me up and that wasn't comfortable anymore, and I moved to the floor and was awake for about 2 hours- and when I did fall asleep the hardness of the floor made me need to roll over like every 20-40 minutes, then I woke up around 6 and moved back to the bed and couldn't get comfortable and cried for 2 hours and tried a variety of positions. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep but the comfortable positions made it hard to breath and the easy to breath positions just weren't comfortable. I even tried sitting on the floor with my back against the wall, and sitting along side the bed, resting my head on the mattress. It was very distressing. I tried snuggling up with Nathan to help calm me down, but of course, that turned into a hard to breath position. Finally I found a semi-comfortable position and my body just gave in to the exhaustion and I fell asleep for another couple hours before starting my day. I will probably be on the couch the remainder of my pregnancy.

This boy of mine is almost constantly moving and stretching out my belly which is less fun as he is getting bigger. He often makes it look like I have an alien living inside me because his movement is very visible from the outside nowadays. I'm pretty sure I have been experiencing braxton hix contractions. This weekend I was having some sorta something going on in my back- it happened about 5-6 times on Saturday and felt what I imagine would be contraction like, but it was in my back, not my belly. Hopefully when I go into labor, I don't wind up with back labor because it hurt....and really SUCKED!

My blood pressure has been running high and I have had disgusting swelling, so I get to go to a bonus doctor's appointment on Thursday and I am supposed to be keeping off my feet as much as possible. I have too much to do to be put on bed rest! We'll see what happens. I am really worried that it's going to wind up being preeclampsia and they are going to induce me early and/or I am going to have to have a scheduled c-section. Well, I guess it's dumb to worry until I know more. I will blog again once I know something.

just around the corner....

I really am just a terrible blogger. I have been drafting this post in my mind for well over a week now, and I have had the time, I just never sit down to write it out.

Anyway- I have had TWO doctors appointments since my last post. The first was really brief- no significant news. They did check my cervix because I had been experiencing weird pains/discomfort but everything was as it should be; no dilation or ripening or anything. I can tell you one thing though- cervical checks kinda suck! OUCH! I was not expecting it to be so uncomfortable. Hopefully I don't need another one of those until it's go time. At that appointment we also asked about the heart shaped uterus issue, and when we would know if a c-section was going to be needed or not. Doctor told us there is no way to know until I am in labor. This answer is good I suppose, but sucks at the same time. I would just like to be able to plan and prepare my mind one way or the other- but if there is anything I have learned in this life it is that nothing ever goes as planned.

At my most recent appointment my blood pressure was a little high, but my resting blood pressure was ok- so if that keeps up I may be put on bed rest the last few weeks. I'm supposed to check it regularly and let the doctor know if it keeps running high. I had a weird thing happen with my eyes a few day before my appointment. I was watching tv before bed and I got a pixelated rainbow ring in my vision- it looked kinda like a kaleidoscope. I checked my bp and googled it- since it was the middle of the night- and according to Dr. Internet- it's a symptom of edema of the eyes. I wasn't too worried because I know edema is normal in late pregnancy, but I had never heard of it in the eyes- usually it's just referring to the swelling in the feet/ankles etc. So I mentioned it to the doctor and he said it's probably pregnancy related but nothing dangerous to be worried about.  I also found out that I am, and have been, measuring ahead of schedule- but that may just be me getting fatter and not necessarily the baby. At my next appointment I will be almost 37 weeks- which is considered full term. THAT is craziness. It makes me feel like I actually am getting close to the end though. I will get an ultra sound to find out how big the baby actually is and I will get the strep B test and all that. I'm so excited! It seems like forever since I have had an ultra sound- I can't wait to see my little, or maybe not so little, guy and find out how he is growing.

He is still moving around a lot- and it's becoming more and more noticeable. I can actually see my belly moving all day long and other people have witnessed it too. It freaks my sister out- which is hilarious because she has two kids of her own. I think it's kinda cool to watch, but at the same time- it is kinda freaky and looks like something out of a sci-fi movie.

As I expected, many of my daily tasks are becoming more difficult and I am continually uncomfortable. I am learning to just deal with it though- there isn't much that can make me feel better, so I have just accepted it as part of my fate. That does not mean that I don't wince or moan or sigh deeply from time to time- I just do my best to go through my day as normally as possible. I cannot wait to get into a pool and swim- I hear it's just so lovely for pregnant ladies. I am even considering just getting into a cool bath tub today.

Oh, speaking of swimming- I bought my maternity swimsuit. It was worse than shopping for a regular swimsuit. Nothing fit right- everything was too big or too small- I am in between sizes. Well actually, I am two different sizes which makes things even worse. I am one size in my bust and another size in my belly. So obviously I can't be wearing a swimsuit that's too tight, so I had to get one that is a little big and kinda baggy in the boobs. I really don't like it. I don't like how it looks on me or how it makes me feel and I really don't like that I had to pay $55 for a swimsuit that only kind of fits that I will wear for a little over a month. I am getting upset just thinking about it. Maybe I can use the new sewing machine Nathan got me for Mother's Day to make it more flattering. If only my tummy wasn't disgusting and covered in horrible stretch marks- then I could just get a bikini and not worry about it. I am so jealous of the mommies with no stretch marks and pretty baby bellies.  (Insert sad pouty face here)

My body is making me depressed these days; not just the stretch mark belly, but also my huge puffy hippo feet, and the fact that people raise their eyebrows or get looks of terror on their faces when I tell them how far a long I am, making me feel like a giant whale. I know it doesn't matter what I look like- and all that matters is keeping the baby safe and healthy- but it's still hard. And I have had lots and lots of people tell me that I look adorable pregnant and that I am carrying the baby well and all that, but it's the people starring at my swollen feet and the looks and the "Oh my gosh, you are going to be huge!" or "Hopefully you deliver early...." comments that get me the most. I won't miss that at all.

I do have a lot to be grateful for though. I have been able to get out of the house and do some fun things. I got to have lunch my friend Shilo, who I hadn't seen in ages, and got to meet her little baby boy, Henry. I also got to spend a day at the lake with my family and baby gifts keep trickling in- which is fun, we only have a few items left to to purchase before Xander gets here, we are winding up the landscape prep in the back yard, AND we are finishing up the refinance on our house. So good things are happening! I don't mean to sound like a complainer!

Oh, we also booked our hotel room for our trip to St. George in September. It was kinda weird planning a vacation with our tiny human in mind, especially since he isn't even born yet- but I am really excited to go and even more excited that we get bring Xander along to meet everyone at the reunion. Well, I think that is all for now!

a dream is a wish your heart makes

I was driving home after dropping Nathan off at work this morning, and nothing good was on the radio, so I turned on my favorite Disney cd, "Simply Mad About the Mouse" and was so excited when my favorite song came on first. I am not sure if I have mentioned the song on this blog before I got pregnant, but I used to listen to it all the time because it gave me a little glimmer of hope; A Dream is Wish Your Heart Makes. I smiled and began singing along and it wasn't very far into the song when I had to stop singing because I had started crying.

As I sang the lyrics, my mind wandered back to the many, many times I had listened to the song before- dreaming of one day becoming a mother, the silent prayers of pleading for strength, comfort, and faith that seemed to play on repeat in my mind, and the heart break I felt one failed attempt after another. I knew deep down that one day it would happen, and  Nathan and I would have little family of our own, but it seemed so far away and often so hopeless. And today, as that song played, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks- that my someday is here; the dream that I wished has come true and in just about 7 weeks I am going to be holding the answer to my prayers in my arms.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and some day

Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving, 

if you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true

I know I typically post more about the discomforts and weirdness that pregnancy brings, but I just wanted to express how truly grateful I am for the blessing of this child in our lives and testify to the power of faith and prayers. I literally can't put into words my joy and gratitude. I just wanted to make sure that I acknowledged these feelings and wrote them down while they were still fresh in my mind.

baby shower, maternity pics, and more!

Well, it's May. Do you know what that means? That means I am supposed to have this baby NEXT MONTH!! It sounds crazy close when I say it like that. However, it still seems really far away. I swear the days are going slower, and the nights are so much longer now; third trimester discomforts.

I was watching the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" movie the other day, while working on some pottery, and found myself relating to the character Wendy Cooper (played by Elizabeth Banks) A LOT. She and her husband try for two years before they finally get pregnant- and she is of course over the moon- but experiences all the crappy, uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms. She does her best to put on her happy pregnant lady face, until this scene...

Oh my heavens, can I EVER agree with her- especially with how giant and uncomfortable I have felt lately. Oh, and I discovered a new pregnancy symptom that I had never heard anyone mention before- my finger joints are so achy! I feel like an old lady with arthritis. NOT fun. Nathan thinks it has something to do with the swelling I get in my hands sometimes- I don't know what it is, but I will be so happy when it's gone. I don't really have anything else to report- I am just getting bigger and bigger and sore and uncomfortable- and it seems like that's just how it will be until this little guy decides to make his big debut.

Luckily though, I have had some fun things to distract me! Like my baby shower! I must admit, I have never been a fan of baby showers, but it is different when it's your own. It was so nice to see everyone! There were a few people there that I hadn't seen in years! Even if there had been no food, or games, or presents, it was still a blast to have everyone there and to visit and feel all the love and support. It makes me so happy to know there are so many people that love little Xander already.

My sister was kind enough to throw the shower for me and my mom was kind enough to help. Jessica made the invites and his is what they looked like:

My mom was in charge of the food- here is a picture of the food table:

Since the shower was at night, we had all desserts/sweet stuff. There were cupcake push-ups, cake pops, cookies, mini pineapple upside down cakes, brownies, fudge, a peanut butter cheese ball, m&m shooters, and some yummy sweet green salsa. 

The decoration were all safari/ baby lion king theme- and so cute!

Here a few pictures of various guests:

In the picture below, we are playing one of the shower games. We played a fill in the blank game with nursery rhymes, "Name the TV Kids" (which I did far better on than I probably should have,) and Guess Tarin's belly size. 2 people were almost exactly right on how big around I am- very impressive. I was most happy about the people who guessed too small- since I have been feeling so HUGE!

And here are a couple photos of me opening some gifts:

Everyone was so generous, we feel so blessed! I separated everything into categories when I got home, so it would be easier to put away. Here is a break down of what we got!

Here is all the gifts (condensed for travel purposes) 

Shoes and Accessories:

Newborn clothes:

 3 month clothes

6 month clothes:

 9 month clothes:

A Bouncy Seat!

 Blankets and Bedding: 

 Bath Stuff!

 Bibs and Burp Rags:

Feeding stuff:

BOOKS!

(The invite for the shower asked that guests bring books in lieu of cards- I love them all, but a few I am SUPER excited about because I loved them so much when I was a kid)

DIAPERS!

We also did a diaper a raffle at the shower, and wound up with enough diapers to last us through about the first month.

Thanks, Sister! For hosting me a great shower!!

(Isn't it kinda weird how not-pregnant I look from straight on?)

Since the shower we have also gotten another hooded bath towel, more diapers, and a Boppy!

My nesting urges also kinda kicked in after the shower. I want to make sure we have everything so I checked everything we got from the shower off our "Newborn Essentials" checklist and started shopping for the other stuff. I made lists and went through coupons and did some price comparisons and research- so we could get the best prices on the items I felt would work best for us. 

Here is some of the fun I have had on my baby shopping sprees!

  

This is a stock photo of the swing I picked out. It is different than the one I thought I wanted originally- this one sways rather than "swinging-" I picked it because so many moms mentioned in the reviews that they could go from swaying with their infant in their arms and transition to swing without the baby waking up or noticing anything had changed. PLUS- it's baby Lion King, and how stinking cute is that?!

My mom and I also took a trip to the mall, since I had some Children's Place gift cards and I got our little guy a few more pairs of shorts, and this adorable little outfit! I am thinking family pictures for Christmas cards!! 

While we were out my mom also got us a few things- some sports binkies, a binky that closes to protects it from germs when it falls to the ground, some other binks, binky clips, sunglasses, and a "sports cup" to cover his boy bits during diaper changes to prevent us from getting surprise squirts! I have still not decided if this product is genius or ridiculous. I guess I will know a few months!

I did some other online shopping at Target and got the crib mattress and baby monitor, both of which should arrive next week.

Nathan and I did some shopping this past weekend and picked up a baby bath tub, more bibs, baby wash clothes, a few bottles, a bottle warmer, side snap t-shirts, a baby health/grooming kit, wipes, and some swaddlers. 

So much stuff! This is what the nursery looks like at the moment:

I am still figuring out exactly where I am going to put everything. Not that we don't have space it all, it's just I've never done the whole baby thing before, so I am trying to figure out logistically where everything should go. It's making it all seem so much more real and I am loving it. I am actually starting to feel more like a mommy and not a fat hoarder with an alien living in my stomach.

The day after the shower, at our monthly Lunt family dinner, my awesome sister in law, Amy, snapped a few maternity pictures for us. Everyone kept saying that I should get some taken, or I would regret it- so I did. I haven't been super psyched with my pregnant physique these days, but I figured for documentation purposes they would be nice to have. 

Turns out, I actually really love them! So here they are!

In other news, we took our child birth class this weekend. It was interesting. The first day was a lot of lecture and a lot information that I didn't feel was as important/relevant- but I still found very interesting. Nathan thought it was kinda boring. He did what he could to make it fun for both of us though. When we got the part that discusses the anatomy of pregnancy, they gave us a diagram of the pregnant body and we were supposed to label all the different body parts. Nathan kept making me laugh by insisting that the liver was a tumor, because we couldn't figure out what it was. Overall though, we did pretty good! Nathan knew a lot more about a preggo's biology/anatomy than I thought he would!

We also talked about nutrition during pregnancy and the instructor had all the mommies-to-be write down what they had eaten all day. Knowing how my eating habits have been lately Nathan got a big grin on his face and was like "Yeah Tarin, write it down. Start with dinner!" 

My eating for the day wasn't that bad, I actually ate less than I should have- but Nathan was looking over the list and was like "Noodles? For breakfast?!" I pointed in his face and said "I just like noodles, ok?! Don't judge me!" and we both laughed. 

The second day was way more fun. We learned breathing and relaxation techniques for when I go into labor. Of course, my goofy husband kept me smiling the whole time with goofy faces and tickles. Hopefully I find him that hilarious and charming when I actually go into labor.   We "practiced contractions" by putting our hands in ice water- and then tried out different breathing patterns to figure out what might work best for us on delivery day. The dad's had to have a couple "contractions" too. It was awesome to watch the faces of the guys around the room while they were doing it. The instructor was impressed that none of them cried. Nathan was pretty tough through the first one, but the second one I could tell was really pretty uncomfortable for him. 

After the class, I do feel better prepared for coping with labor. I have read up on the labor and delivery processes enough that I already understood what would happen- but now I feel like I have some good tools in belt to help me handle it mentally and physically. And sticking your hand in ice to practice to practice contractions may sound dumb-but it was kinda painful and definitely not comfortable and I was able to find out what worked and didn't work for me in making the "contractions" easier or at least seem to go by faster. 

And Nathan was able to learn what I thought worked best and different positions for laboring and how I like to be touched to make me feel calm and relaxed. It was a good experience and I really enjoyed doing some that focused on us as a little family.

We also toured the hospital, which also made me feel so much more prepared for delivery. I looooooove how Banner Gateway has their maternity floor laid out. It's all on the ground floor and it's right next to the main entrance  so it's easy to find. They are really family focused and everything is set up to make things as easy as possible. The operating rooms for c-sections are right across the hall from the labor and delivery rooms- so if I do wind up needing to be cut open it's not like I have to go to different floor for surgery or anything- it's all right there. All the L&D rooms have showers in them with the detachable shower heads to help ease the pain of labor, plus I have access to the Japanese soaking tub (as long as I haven't had any pain medication yet.) They also provided birthing balls to sit on and a squat bar if I decide I want to try birthing in a squatting position. They have a really nice private garden too- but I have a feeling we won't really use that much since I am due at the end of June and it's gonna be super hot. 

Nathan didn't understand why we would be in so many different rooms; triage, then labor and delivery, and then a postpartum room. But overall, I think he took some good information away from the tour and knows a little better what to expect. 

Speaking of Nathan, I am so freaking in love with him these days. Obviously, I have always loved him- but it's crazy how much more and more I love him every day. Just when I don't think it's possible- BAM! I love him more! I am afraid that my heart might just explode from so much loving by the time the baby is born! Experiencing this miracle together has been just amazing. I feel soooooooo blessed to have the opportunity to become a mother and to share it all with such an amazing man. :)

Well, I think that pretty much sums it up for now. My next doctors appointment is on Monday, so I am sure I will probably post a small update sometime afterwards.