just around the corner....

I really am just a terrible blogger. I have been drafting this post in my mind for well over a week now, and I have had the time, I just never sit down to write it out.

Anyway- I have had TWO doctors appointments since my last post. The first was really brief- no significant news. They did check my cervix because I had been experiencing weird pains/discomfort but everything was as it should be; no dilation or ripening or anything. I can tell you one thing though- cervical checks kinda suck! OUCH! I was not expecting it to be so uncomfortable. Hopefully I don't need another one of those until it's go time. At that appointment we also asked about the heart shaped uterus issue, and when we would know if a c-section was going to be needed or not. Doctor told us there is no way to know until I am in labor. This answer is good I suppose, but sucks at the same time. I would just like to be able to plan and prepare my mind one way or the other- but if there is anything I have learned in this life it is that nothing ever goes as planned.

At my most recent appointment my blood pressure was a little high, but my resting blood pressure was ok- so if that keeps up I may be put on bed rest the last few weeks. I'm supposed to check it regularly and let the doctor know if it keeps running high. I had a weird thing happen with my eyes a few day before my appointment. I was watching tv before bed and I got a pixelated rainbow ring in my vision- it looked kinda like a kaleidoscope. I checked my bp and googled it- since it was the middle of the night- and according to Dr. Internet- it's a symptom of edema of the eyes. I wasn't too worried because I know edema is normal in late pregnancy, but I had never heard of it in the eyes- usually it's just referring to the swelling in the feet/ankles etc. So I mentioned it to the doctor and he said it's probably pregnancy related but nothing dangerous to be worried about.  I also found out that I am, and have been, measuring ahead of schedule- but that may just be me getting fatter and not necessarily the baby. At my next appointment I will be almost 37 weeks- which is considered full term. THAT is craziness. It makes me feel like I actually am getting close to the end though. I will get an ultra sound to find out how big the baby actually is and I will get the strep B test and all that. I'm so excited! It seems like forever since I have had an ultra sound- I can't wait to see my little, or maybe not so little, guy and find out how he is growing.

He is still moving around a lot- and it's becoming more and more noticeable. I can actually see my belly moving all day long and other people have witnessed it too. It freaks my sister out- which is hilarious because she has two kids of her own. I think it's kinda cool to watch, but at the same time- it is kinda freaky and looks like something out of a sci-fi movie.

As I expected, many of my daily tasks are becoming more difficult and I am continually uncomfortable. I am learning to just deal with it though- there isn't much that can make me feel better, so I have just accepted it as part of my fate. That does not mean that I don't wince or moan or sigh deeply from time to time- I just do my best to go through my day as normally as possible. I cannot wait to get into a pool and swim- I hear it's just so lovely for pregnant ladies. I am even considering just getting into a cool bath tub today.

Oh, speaking of swimming- I bought my maternity swimsuit. It was worse than shopping for a regular swimsuit. Nothing fit right- everything was too big or too small- I am in between sizes. Well actually, I am two different sizes which makes things even worse. I am one size in my bust and another size in my belly. So obviously I can't be wearing a swimsuit that's too tight, so I had to get one that is a little big and kinda baggy in the boobs. I really don't like it. I don't like how it looks on me or how it makes me feel and I really don't like that I had to pay $55 for a swimsuit that only kind of fits that I will wear for a little over a month. I am getting upset just thinking about it. Maybe I can use the new sewing machine Nathan got me for Mother's Day to make it more flattering. If only my tummy wasn't disgusting and covered in horrible stretch marks- then I could just get a bikini and not worry about it. I am so jealous of the mommies with no stretch marks and pretty baby bellies.  (Insert sad pouty face here)

My body is making me depressed these days; not just the stretch mark belly, but also my huge puffy hippo feet, and the fact that people raise their eyebrows or get looks of terror on their faces when I tell them how far a long I am, making me feel like a giant whale. I know it doesn't matter what I look like- and all that matters is keeping the baby safe and healthy- but it's still hard. And I have had lots and lots of people tell me that I look adorable pregnant and that I am carrying the baby well and all that, but it's the people starring at my swollen feet and the looks and the "Oh my gosh, you are going to be huge!" or "Hopefully you deliver early...." comments that get me the most. I won't miss that at all.

I do have a lot to be grateful for though. I have been able to get out of the house and do some fun things. I got to have lunch my friend Shilo, who I hadn't seen in ages, and got to meet her little baby boy, Henry. I also got to spend a day at the lake with my family and baby gifts keep trickling in- which is fun, we only have a few items left to to purchase before Xander gets here, we are winding up the landscape prep in the back yard, AND we are finishing up the refinance on our house. So good things are happening! I don't mean to sound like a complainer!

Oh, we also booked our hotel room for our trip to St. George in September. It was kinda weird planning a vacation with our tiny human in mind, especially since he isn't even born yet- but I am really excited to go and even more excited that we get bring Xander along to meet everyone at the reunion. Well, I think that is all for now!